What Repeated Behaviour Reveals About Your Life

The people in your life affect you every day, and you can't help but be caught up in their changing moods and their reactions to you. Similarly, of course, your moods and reactions affect the people close to you, which in turn changes how they act. But how people act around you is more important than you might think.

At this point, you need to set aside each person’s role in your life—and by that, I mean temporarily forget that they are your mother, brother or friend—and see them simply as a person. Looking at them in this way allows you to see more clearly how they are behaving and how they are affecting you.

Think about each person who is relevant in your life now and how they have affected you recently. You will naturally also think about what they want from you and what your responsibilities are to them. But these things can stop you from seeing their actions in the clearest way.

The best way to see them is to view the way they act specifically towards you as having a purpose in your life. But it is important to recognise which behaviour is significant for you and which is simply part of daily life. You can do this by noticing when their behaviour follows a pattern you have experienced before.

If the situation feels familiar, as though it has happened before, then it is important for you. For example, the person might be annoyed about something in a similar way to how they were annoyed when you did something in the past. This is your chance to gain something from the situation.

And as well as having the unavoidable pain that is involved in many of these situations, there is also an opportunity to become stronger because of it and to act in the best way so that you can be a better version of yourself. Also, if you can see that they are repeating a familiar pattern, then their actions will be predictable. And you can use this to help you navigate through the situation.

So, in order to get the most out of these situations, you first need to be aware of how the person is acting and which pattern they are following. Then you can act accordingly. A common pattern in your life might be receiving the same criticism from the same person.

ou may recognise this kind of criticism because it feels like a personal attack. When someone criticises you, it is natural to look inward and assume that you should change. But that does not necessarily mean that changing yourself is the right response.

Cou may recognise this kind of criticism because it feels like a personal attack. When someone criticises you, it is natural to look inward and assume that you should change. But that does not necessarily mean that changing yourself is the right response.

So, when someone is criticising you or is angry with you, and the situation is not threatening, it is often best to mentally close yourself off from the attack, let the person run out of steam and wait for it to blow over. This is difficult because the natural instinct when you feel attacked is to fight back. But fighting back is not necessarily strength and rarely brings the result you want.

Another pattern occurs when someone annoys or irritates you. Often, the full force of the feeling hits you afterwards and continues to return in waves. It might be a different person this time, but the feeling you cannot shake is probably familiar.

Each time you begin to forget about it, the irritation returns. So what should you do? When you see the person again, it is usually best not to react immediately, even though you may want them to realise what they did or see that they were wrong.

You do not need to make them see it immediately. If you can wait and tolerate the discomfort, your strong feelings will eventually subside, leaving you with a clearer sense of how to respond to that person.

Throughout the day, you can gauge how you are doing by noticing how people are acting around you and which situations are repeating. This will help you gain confidence in your understanding of how your life works.

Would You Like to Help Me Test a New Reflection Cycle?

I’m looking for a small number of people to test the first part of a new Enhanced Sense Living Reflection Cycle. It involves completing a written form by answering my questions about situations in your life. You can be as specific as you wish and only need to share details you feel comfortable sharing.

The aim is to help you understand what your situations are showing you. If you would like to take part, click below.

Apply to Take Part