When Everything Starts to Break Down

There is one event in your life: an event that is completely out of your control and one that you are powerless to stop no matter what you do or how hard you try. At first, it seems like things just aren't going your way or that you've hit a patch of bad luck. But then it starts to escalate into a series of unfortunate events for your life.

And the one characteristic that ties all of these things together is that nothing seems to work. All of the things that you try and all of the ways that you are living break down. This can be scary as it starts to look as if your life is going off the rails and you can't hang on to it.

But really, what is happening is the most important thing that will ever happen to you. And in fact, you shouldn't hang on to it. At this time, you should let go of the old and outdated: relationships that never really gave you anything good, habits and routines that are worn out.

And you don't need to race to replace these things immediately. Leave some space in your life for what comes next. This process takes time.

And time is something you have a lot of. And it's important to know that you are not alone in your struggle. Many other people have been through or are going through the same thing, though it may look different from the outside.

While this breaking down of your life is happening, you might feel under attack and anxious a lot of the time as you wait for the next bad thing to happen. And the only thing you can do at this stage is to brace yourself and let go of any expectations you may still have. It's best to accept what is happening and hold on to what you want to happen.

It's human nature to want nice things or to want things to be better, and you can't switch this off. But also, as human beings, we have the strength to grit our teeth and adapt to our situations. And as time moves on, new things come.

You move forward into a better place, but it's not much better. Small increments of progress are all you get in this period. This is the beginning of a chance to start again.

But you're still you, and your life is still recognizable as your own. It includes elements of your old life and it still functions as such. But you have to get used to some new rules and the new ways that your life works, or sometimes doesn't work.

And when you're doing the wrong thing because you're painfully shown that it's wrong. Every time you run into trouble, it's a wake-up call to change your behavior or to think differently about what's in front of you. And the faster you find out what to change, the easier it is.

The biggest changes, of course, are to yourself. And you find that you lose yourself for a while, and that's okay because you find yourself again as you piece together your new life. And in this new life, new things happen.

You are able to have new experiences and explore new thoughts and ideas. How you see your life is different too, and you start to judge what's happening in it from a different perspective: a perspective of being able to see more clearly what's really going on. This process takes a long time.

You may have already been through it, you may be going through it right now, or you may be yet to go through it. But wherever you are up to in your life, it's important to know that your life is not as bad as it may seem. And although progress is slow, you are moving forward into a better place.

What feels like everything falling apart may be what allows something new to begin.

When Your Choices Start to Narrow

Every day, you are faced with choices. Choices about what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. But when you look more closely, your choices aren't as wide and numerous as they first might appear.

It feels more like you are funneled and blocked into having less and less freedom to choose until you have to make a decision, and that decision may or may not be one you are happy with. You are also limited by things that pop up which are out of your control. These things stop you from proceeding with what you want to do, but it is unclear at the time whether they affect your life positively.

It's especially easy to notice this when you are using a phone or computer. For example, you are trying to buy something, but the page won't load or the information you just put in gets lost. And there are usually perfectly logical explanations for why these things happen, but when they happen, what you should be asking yourself in these situations is, should you keep trying?

When you are being blocked in this way, it's always smarter to ask yourself if you should continue trying to do it. And the best answer is always that you should not. But that doesn't mean that you have to give up on it completely.

It may be just that you need to come back to it later. The timing of everything in your life is, and should be, important to you. So you need to be sensitive to what's happening, what's working, and what's not.

Then you can more quickly pick up on when you should change or stop doing what you're doing. Something else that you are not always in control of is money. You can manage it to the best of your ability, but sometimes it is unavoidable that you don't have enough of it to do what you want to do.

But it's more than that. Not having enough money makes you feel like you can't do things, even though you probably could if you worked it out. So this also limits your choices or forces you to choose one thing over another.

And a compromise is not a true expression of your free will to choose. When you feel limited by your resources, it's always best to choose the option that gives you the feeling of being secure in your life. Another experience of being blocked from doing something is when the information you are using to plan what you are going to do changes or new information comes to light.

Usually, this happens just when you're about to start doing the thing that you want to do, and suddenly it feels like the rug has been pulled out from under you. This is, of course, accompanied by a sickening feeling in your stomach as you realize that a plan you were so sure of is suddenly now unworkable because of the new information you have. In this situation, you should be very careful.

It's always best not to make any quick decisions and to do nothing until you can re-evaluate what your options are. And there is one more way you are stopped from doing what you want to do by things out of your control, and that is when what you want to do is physically and mentally impossible. And I'm not talking about something extreme.

It could just be a fun day out. And it might even be something that you've done before or something that other people seem to be able to do whenever they want to. But for you, at that moment, the physical exertion of doing it and the mental planning to execute it are beyond you, and it just seems impossible.

So when you are not able to do what you want to do, it's very important to first recognize that it is due to factors out of your control, but then to look at what the thing stopping you is. Knowing that it's not your fault that your choices are limited and that you are doing everything you can stops you from blaming yourself but also helps you to be ready for when the impossible becomes possible.

Sometimes what feels like limitation is simply showing you where your attention needs to be.

The Experiences That Quietly Change Who You Become

As you have gone through your life, certain experiences have shaped and changed you. But not all of your experiences have changed you. So, what experiences have made you into who you are today?

Experiences that change you are ones that make you think you are not good enough. And this covers a wide range of experiences that I'll get into later, but first, let's look at how they change you. You might imagine that negative experiences like this would have an adverse effect on you, but , the opposite is true, and this is because of how you react.

When you feel that you aren't good enough, you start to question, first of all, whether you really aren't good enough, but also why you think you aren't good enough. You compare yourself to other people and see if they are lacking in that area too. And you start trying to defend yourself and make yourself think that you are good enough.

All of this starts a process in your mind that leads you to try to meet this elusive standard you have set for yourself, and slowly over time, this changes you. But what is the point of you changing, and why do you need to change at all? Well, the reason is that you change because it makes your life easier in the future.

It will benefit you to think and act in a slightly different way because you will be better able to handle the situations you are faced with. In other words, you will be more suited to dealing with them. So let's look now at the different kinds of experiences that change you by making you think you are not good enough.

When someone criticizes how you've done something or even why you've done something, this makes you question yourself. And even when you think you are right, their comment still plays on your mind and causes you to go over what you did and justify it to yourself. Another experience is when you make a mistake.

Seeing for yourself that you've done something wrong doesn't make it easier, and you'll still beat yourself up about it, but you will definitely change how you act next time. And finally, you can think you aren't good enough when you are doing something that causes you to compare yourself to other people or compare your life to other people's lives. Of course, this is a natural thing that we all do, and there are different degrees of it.

So this experience will only change you if you strongly feel bad about yourself compared to this person. So now that we know what is happening, we need to know how to react to what is happening and what to do to get the most out of it? First of all, you need to swallow your pride.

If you resist the need to change, then you will just slow down this very necessary process. It's important that you be honest with yourself and don't fight against it. Just recognize what needs to be done and work to better yourself.

So where will you end up after all this change? Well, as this cycle repeats of you feeling like you're not good enough, then reacting against it and slightly changing how you think and act, then you will eventually be a very different person. And this is beneficial for one very important reason, and that is because you will be someone who has an enhanced sense of how to live your life.