Knowing When it’s the Wrong Thing to Do

• Video Transcript

  I’m always waiting for my life to improve and I don’t mean that I’m just doing nothing but there’s a time for doing things and a time for doing nothing except waiting. But when I see the signs I am immediately ready to jump into action and do everything that I need to do.

  But between those times are the times that I just have to wait. At these times it’s important for me to be very very patient because I can spend a long time in the waiting room. Overall in the last ten years my life has steadily improved and I can see that by comparing my situations then and now.

  I always divide my life into three parts. My family, my job and everything else. Each part follows different rules and behaves in a different way. When I have change in my life it is only ever in one of the areas at one time. All of the areas can’t change at once. And I need to look at what is possible and what isn’t possible to gauge where that part of my life is at.

  And there are things that I wish, and have wished, I could do, like take my kids to the beach. But there has been a time when I couldn’t do that and I just had to accept that the “Family” part of my life wasn’t at the level where I could do that yet.

  And I’m even talking about the very small things in my life. There has been a time when I couldn’t have a certain food that I wanted and then a change happened and I could get it. If you looked from the outside it would seem like such a small thing but to me it was important and I had to be patient while I couldn’t have it and when I got it I could see that that part of my life had changed and improved.

  These small signs are important for me because if I’m hoping for something bigger I can think that “if I can’t have this little thing then it’s definitely not the right time to have this bigger thing yet.

  Then there are the times when everything seems to be going well but suddenly it will be like someone has pressed the reset button on my life. Something will happen, something disappointing, and I’ll feel like all of the gains I’ve made have now been erased. And I feel let down by my life and I’ll wonder if my life has really changed?

  Disappointment is a very strong feeling that repeats in my life. And even when I think I’ve moved away from the area where I could feel so low something happens and I get dragged back into it.

  At these times I feel betrayed. My life was going so well and everything was clicking into place. I was believing that good things could happen for me and that I could make that final change in my life that means it would never be able to go back to the way it was before.

  And on many occasions I have been so close to that point but just before the big change something happens and then the whole process unravels and I’m back where I started. This is accompanied by that familiar sickening feeling in my stomach and the crushing disappointment of another opportunity gone by.

  Looking back at those times I can see that those opportunities actually weren’t right for me and if I’d looked more closely I could have seen that there was always something about them that wasn’t right. But each opportunity was a different direction my life could have gone in and now it seems to me more like a list that I was exploring and crossing off as I went until I finally found the right thing for me.